Headstones, Monuments and Grave Markers can bring a Different Kind of Holiday
December 4, 2008
Headstones, Grave Markers, and Monuments can bring closure during Holidays
Finally finding a reputable headstone dealer, then picking the design is a very stressful process for a family. The cemetery places the headstone in May. Now what; families feel some closure after the headstone has been set. What about the upcoming holidays? All families, whether religious, ethnic or civic, celebrate holidays a little different when someone is missing. Don’t despair. There’s so much you can do to keep the day special.
Holidays are a time for traditions and gatherings with family and friends. Special memories are linked to these special days. Togetherness with family and friends is almost always part of the celebration. If you’re living with the recent loss of a loved one, it’s no wonder if you find holidays suddenly difficult. One holiday that’s challenging for many bereaved Americans is xmas. Rather than being a joyful time, the xmas season can bring feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness. Traditional activities and symbols become reminders of someone who is precious to us, but no longer here to share the festivities. There are many things you can do to help yourself through the xmas season – good ideas that can apply to other holidays as well.
1. Talk openly with caring friends and family about your grief during the holidays.
They will help you feel understood. Spend time with people who will encourage you to be yourself and accept your feelings – both happy and sad.
2. Discuss honestly with family members what each wants to do on the holiday.
It may be more comfortable to follow traditions or make some changes, perhaps for this year only. Give yourself permission to not do things. Once you have your plans in place, let others know your wishes.
3. Carry on with xmas preparations that you enjoy. Feel free to eliminate or
change the ones you don’t enjoy.
4. Get help with decorations.
Decorating together can preserve the warmth of the season. And you should also let yourself be free to save the decorations for another year if that’s what feels right. You can save xmas cards for another year, too, if that activity is a difficult task.
5. Consider shopping early, and in new ways.
Buying gifts may be upsetting. It may be easier to shop by phone, catalog or on-line. You may want to take an understanding friend with you or perhaps a family member will shop for you.
6. xmas dinner doesn’t have to be the same as always.
You can change the menu, the time of day or the room in which you dine. If you don’t feel like cooking xmas dinner, make alternate plans. You could enjoy a meal prepared by family or friends.
7. Take it easy and get lots of rest.
Holidays are tiring – both physically and psychologically. Lower your expectations and give yourself plenty of time to just relax.
Remember, after the headstone, monument or grave marker has been placed the grieving process isn’t always over. Time can; and will heal. xmas gives a family time to reflect on the past and current blessings they have. Families will often reflect on these times being thankful their loved one has a headstone to reflect on. Headstones will “tell your story in stone” and during the holidays, especially xmas, make sure your loved one has a headstone “granite memory” to reflect.
Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to all in 2009!!!
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