Headstones, Grave Markers, Monuments and Holidays?
November 25, 2008
Handling the Holidays during a difficult time
All of us have our own ways to celebrate the holidays and occasions that we honor as individuals, families and communities. Holidays hold countless memories of family, friends and special times. They are marked by traditions that are eagerly anticipated. Anticipation and planning may start months in advance. No matter how long holidays last they are over too soon. They are the signposts that mark our personal history. “The holidays” are different for each of us. There are days and seasons that mark religious occasions and historical events – the holidays we celebrate in our own communities. But there are also days and times that are special just to us. The weekend when we open or close the cabin, planting the garden, the sporting event everyone gathers to watch, even the first warm day of spring or cool evening in the fall can have a special meaning and create a flood of memories. The anticipation, the traditions and the memories that holidays and special occasions call to mind make these the times when the loss of a loved one can be felt most keenly. There is no simple way to make it easier to deal with the emotions and memories that are stirred by the holidays. We are all different. Remember that the right way to deal with your feelings is the way that works for you. Here are some thoughts that can help you plan the best ways to deal with the holidays.
Plan ahead
As difficult as it may be, think about upcoming holidays and occasions well in advance. Accept that this will probably be a difficult time and try to decide what will help you to get through it. Don’t assume that something will be too great an imposition on family or friends. Remember, the people who care about you want to find ways to help and support you, so don’t feel you’re being selfish if you consider your needs and ask something of them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with holiday and special occasion preparations. Tasks you could breeze through before may suddenly seem overwhelming. Asking family or friends to share the work can make your life a little easier.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help with holiday and special occasion preparations
Tasks you could breeze through before may suddenly seem overwhelming. Asking family or friends to share the work can make your life a little easier. No matter how long they last, holidays are over too soon. They are the signposts that mark our personal history. You may even find that getting together to decorate, fix a meal, shop or even clean your home become its own holiday tradition.
Don’t feel obligated to do things the way they have always been done
Perhaps you have always hosted a holiday meal or gathering. While doing things the same way may be a source of comfort to you, it is also perfectly all right to suggest a change. Don’t feel this is an imposition on your family and friends or that you are letting them down. This is a chance for them to support you and help you through a difficult time.
Consider creating new traditions to celebrate the memory of your loved one
It could be as simple as buying a new holiday decoration or symbolic item every year. It could mean a visit to your place of worship specifically to honor this individual’s memory. You might choose to visit a place that was significant to both of you every year and spend some quiet time reflecting on his or her life. You might make an annual donation to a charity or organization that was special to your loved one, or volunteer
your time. Coping with holidays and special occasions after losing a loved one may be one of the most difficult challenges any of us will face in our lives. Yet over time, you will find that the pain and sense of loss softens as remembering and celebrating the life of your loved one becomes a positive part of your “new” celebrations.
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This website is very helpful. It provides easy navigation with its layout and useful information. The title adds some humor in an easing manor while still being professional.
This website will be very helpful for my Dad and Me to find the monument for my Mothers last resting place..THANK YOU .You have made it so easy for my Dad.